despicable utter theft. STEAL STEAL STEAL

your escapist dressed in black curtains in front of the mirror you know where you are if the people smell right if they all bow to your feet your escapist escaping through holes in the lyrics where you sing the loudest in the back seat driver with the utmost pretension and perfect intentions that screamed for meditation on blue carpets wheresquish-edbugsin rugswhere the wasps found you still in sleep your escapist in dreams jump out the window force the balloons and confetti smiles in mirrors your escapist public bathrooms when no one is around travis travis travis can you read this read this read this your escapist with confiding looks and memories of back ally fucking and loving the wrong love escapist is what you were and didn’t want to be

now you see the in between.

Scream, laying in the bed with no one in the kitchen wondering why you can't be left alone. Listening to some CD that's been on repeat for days while drinking to obscure everything (it's easy to forget when the details are a blur). Turning in your sleep, wishing you knew the answer to everything. Cameras and books scattered round the floor, places where you looked for answers and came up short. Scream in the back of your mind knowing why you can't be left alone afraid to say it out loud. Even if you could, it wouldn't be a word, just a long gasp begging for a soul. Another few glasses and her memory will be gone and you will be at peace. Scream her name at the top of your lungs watching the sunset over Levittown all the people locked up in their houses stories gathered in a rows wishing you could peek into a window. houses behind the creek that people walk their pets to breathe the fresh air. And everyone is alone here and it's their accepetence of that fact that makes them all human, even if they stare at you when buying cigarettes they're all worth the life given to them by something. Someone. Scream now that nothing is real you can take comfort in the simple things the words that are coming out of someone's mouth in the room next door is enough to get your ghost through the night.

in the inside and on the outside you've always got me on a hook that scrapes through my eyes and it's got me by the brain
haunting me with visions and dreams in hot rooms of heat when the house is empty and the cats are asleep there's a feeling that in the inside and on the outside you've been reading too much into me again. we're driving cars crookedly across intersections with lines painted diagonally into parking lots with cops parked tightly into corners of insides and outsides and now you know how I feel about the sex we had under sheets when your hand was on the back of my spine pushing hard against the mattress springs your face stretched across us swimming underneath a lake where water was held above the center of gravity. and how could I forget to love you after all that we've seen even if you're driving in another car fiddling with straps that make you safe tonight as you speed down the highway avoiding all that you could know about your childhood and the friends who made you smile when you were locked in your room crying safely pressed up next to the wall where nothing could come from behind.

strapping on tighter to hold you to your seat when the car gives way and all that's underneath is flipping in the sky your soul will leave your body and join all that is right in the sea of clouds where the hooks have been taken out and placed neatly folded in a napkin for all to see: "this is the pain that I carried with me on the earth down bellow where people worry too much about the things they don't know and all that they've ever seen can never make sense till their sentence has been served" with the monsters down bellow that are hiding in rooms filled with objects that don't add up to the things that we're reaching for when we've left our bodies i know that i'll be holding on so tightly next to you. I will leave you there with your thoughts so deep and I will sit at home in my room and let my eyes drip all the hooks that I've carried with me sweetly into a napkin to be placed on your grave with flowers made of paper from that notebook you left behind when you took off speeding for the coast hiding yourself from all in the inside and on the outside tucking yourself neatly away so the cops couldn't find you sleeping safely without straps around your neck